applesauce

this is what happens when jack is left to feed himself when he isn't that hungry. i have heard that applesauce is a moisturizer? i sure hope so. it was straight to the tub for him:)

-ash

blustery day

it was a blustery day while paul was burning, and jack just had to go out and help. i put on his coat, but he had to have paul's hat to complete his look. he is simply adorable... but while i try to take a photo of him, he runs away, thinking he can hide....stinker!

-ash

burning

i love being able to burn in the spring and fall. knowing that new life will come from cleaning up the overgrowth. it feels good getting things all in order, knowing before long, spring will be here.
jack of course has to be there to help. i love seeing the two of them working. i am so grateful jack has such a good dad...someone to teach and love him.
-ash

pumpkin land

we looked forward going to pumpkin land with jack this year. he's getting older, and getting his own little opinion. i know that if we didn't stop him, he would have filled the wagon with as many pumpkins as it would hold, and then jack would have one in each arm. the little stinker wouldn't smile for us though. i know he gets a bit of stubbornness from me. happy pumpkin picking!
-ash

all day long

all day long i hear,
"mom, where's dad?"
"he's at work"
"why?"
"he's making money to provide for us"
"why?"
"so we can have food and clothes, and do fun things"
"why?"
"because he loves us"
"why?"
"because he wants to take care of us"
"why?"
"do you want to be taken care of?"

 or

"mom, where's bompa (grandpa)?"
"he's at work"
"why?"
"he gets to help people at the hospital enjoy food"
"why?"
"do you like food?"


or

"mom, where's beepee (phoebe)?"
"she's at her house"
"why?"
"because that's where she lives"
"why?"
"ransom, katie, conrad and morris live there too"
"why?"
"do you want to see phoebe some time?"
"yup" (as he runs to the door thinking we are going there now...)

i love this phase of questions and watching his mind work. i just love watching his face as he figures things out. i love him.
-ash

little by little

i've decided that i need a little more in my life than just being content with how i live now. now, i'm not talking about the obvious blessings i have (family, religion, country etc). i mean, i find time passes, and i would like to make things, do cool things with my family, bake things, remember things, teach my kids things, but i don't. i don't even keep track of those things. i am so unbalanced...so unbalanced.
i've decided to take little steps, because i can see myself being overzelous. i have been on pinterest a few times, and i love to see the cool things that friends of mine "pin", and the greatest thing...is that i have actually done some of the things i have pinned, and i feel great. i feel better about me and about my life. i'm learning little by little that it's okay to do small things to make me happy, to make me feel more complete.
-ash

like mother, like son

one of my favorite memories growing up, was playing in the dirt with cars...well, actually, just playing in the dirt made my day. my sisters and i would spend hours creating the roads and driveways for our cars. i promised myself then, that my kids would be able to play in the dirt as much as they would want. we had a lot of great times in the planters, and i can't wait for my kids to play and make their own memories too. give jack a shovel and a car, and he is a happy boy!
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splash pad

a couple of days ago i looked at the calendar, and had a mini meltdown. i looked at jack and felt horrible because i feel the summer has been work, work, work and not a lot of play for him. i have these moments where i feel like a mom who has no balance, and my poor children will suffer for it. paul had to calm me down, and remind me that i am a good mom, and that jack is a happy boy with a great life. i called katie and lindsey that afternoon to make a date for a splash pad. 

i had a great time watching jack play in the water. he is a happy boy who loves to laugh. the second he starts playing with kids his size, he opens up. i get giddy watching him as a "big boy". i can't describe the joy he brings me.

-ash

the great outdoors

as we were getting ready to go on our big camping trip for the year, some of us couldn't go until later, and so we decided to go someplace closer to home. we decided to go to the place paul and i found a few weeks earlier. surprisingly enough, the spot we wanted was completely full but the site that ended up being better for the entire group wasn't. we had such a great time, and it was so fulfulling to see the kids completely dirty. at one point, i think conrad was swimming in the dirt...later on, we heard ransom in his frustration dusting out his tent from that same dirt. classic! here is a little about the trip from mom's blog (she's got great photo's too).

Memories:

Had the camp all to ourselves. The diving june bugs into the lanterns on the first night with Phoebe screams. Conrad spending his time polishing up his skills non-stop running with his arrow, throwing it to kill the bear (bush) and jumping over a log, over and over again. Lindsey's creative camping ideas off Pinterest: blow up pool for crawling babies and the headlamp / jug of water that made a cool lantern. Ransom, Tyler and Larry mountain biking to the lake... pulling Ransom up the hills as he hung on to the Suburban. Favorite pastime? Knocking over dead aspen trees and listening to them crash. Homemade scones. Cooking omelets in a baggy. Ashlee dancing. Never ending stories around the campfire. Humming and playing name that tune. Jack clapping and saying 'Yah'. 30 Minutes of dirt roads. Phoebe being a dog with a stick in her mouth. Ashlee's burnt scalp. Phoebe hugging her dress non stop that she was finally wear a dress on the last day. Soda pop fridge in the river. Fishing at the lake. Watching Conrad catch a fish. Watching ants carry their eggs away. The boys tying up dead tree trunks and dragging them back to camp for our campfires. Constant sawing wood. Tin foil dinners. Cooking Lindsey's sugar cones filled with yummy good stuff over the fire. The thrill of catching fish! Playing camping games: throwing rocks at trees and heaving big rocks. Conrad pretending to be a bear and scaring his dad in the outhouse. The kids are happy throwing rocks in the river all day long... life is good!

-ash

a bit of heaven

finally, a weekend away! paul and i look forward so much to these weekends where we can get away. for some reason, i don't get my act together enough to reserve a spot...i go by "i know we'll get a spot so we'll just leave earlier than everyone else"...so far in our years of camping...not a success. anywho...i heard about a place called moon lake. it has water, hikes, bathrooms, and shade (which are all  musts for me, especially with a wee one). we got meals planned, everything packed up, and were ready to go by 10 am. paul was able to take friday off, so we could go a little further out. it was a beautiful drive, and we were so pumped about being away with just the 3 of us. we saw the sign and mile marker for moon lake, and i started jumping in my seat. at first glance, it was beautiful...shady, the lake was right there, and crowded! i didn't think at all that moon lake would be completely full. i didn't want to look at paul. i was so frustrated. there wasn't an ounce of me that wanted to go back home, but i knew we would never find a place like moon lake. paul had to make the decisions because i was mentally out of it. he decided to go back to the gas station (about 20 miles back) and ask for another good place to go. she gave us a couple, and said that we would have a better chance at yellowstone at getting a spot. paul decided to try it out. after a rocky road, we got there. my mouth dropped, and i am pretty sure a couple of tears came out too. i prayed as we drove that we would find something...my prayers were answered, and i was humbled at how aware of our needs my heavenly father is. our spot had water, bathrooms, shade, hiking, and no people! it was a bit of heaven.
as we were setting up, paul and i would take little glances at each other, and then our site and giggle. it really was perfect.
memories...watching jack as he discovered everything about the outdoors, taking hikes and discovering old workcamps from the 1940's, driving to see the rest of the area and finding new campsites, yummy dutch oven bbq chicken and grandpa's potatoes, smores with really old disgusting graham crackers (btw...they don't store well), reading in the rain, me nervous with bear country, jack sleeping through the night, no other campers around, paul so excited about being in the greatest spot!

-ash

a day at the park

jack loves the park. he goes from the slide to the swing, to the grassy hill, to the wood chips, and then back to the slide. i have really enjoyed watching the park through the eyes of jack. he makes friends fast, and loves to have us watch all he is doing. this summer, he learned how to roll down the hill, and then i laugh hard as he tries to come back up the hill.
-ash

lazy days of summer

these days of summer are my favorite. hanging out together, enjoying the summer breeze, and a little ice cream. jack loves, loves, loves ice cream, he tends to take over our ice cream, and occasionally, will share with us.
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zombie wars

paul got to drive the big army truck to promote "zombie wars" in a parade. ransom met up with paul to help with a few things and brought the kiddos along. they had a great time, and no, jack wasn't in the truck during the parade. he was safely hanging out with ransom and the kids.
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hiking the y

i don't remember it being so uphill... when we started, i was thinking to myself "this is the worst part"...sadly, i was mistaken. i swear there were only 3 steep switchbacks, not 135! okay, not that many, but it was so steep. on the way there, we got firehouse subs to eat at the top. it really was heavenly to get to the top and to rest. my poor knees on the way down were hating me, but we made it. then we got farrs and it was so delicious!
-ash

faceplant

jack and i were playing in the yard yesterday, when all the sudden, his face is in the dirt! i started laughing, and had to snap a photo. i love watching him play, and really enjoy himself. when he first got all muddy, i thought "oh no!", but some of my favorite memories include dirt, and really, kids should be able to play in mud. until tomorrow:)
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arby's

jack had his very first arby's sandwich today for lunch. he isn't the greatest eater, so i was a little nervous he would pick at it. he did at first, and then he took some good bites.
i remember the first time i had one of their sandwiches. we were driving around looking at land, and to keep us from total chaos, we were bribed with arby's! the buttery bun, and the shaved roast beef. yummy...since then, having pebbles near arby's, i've had my share, and don't eat anymore. plus, i don't think they butter their buns like they used too.
anywho...he almost the whole thing, and enjoyed it.
-ash

walks

some of my favorite times with jack are on our walks. we talk, sing, look at birds, enjoy the outdoors, and look at the airplanes and helicopters fly above us. we have a couple different routes we take, and i love watching jack notice anything and everything around us. makes me appreciate the little things a lot more. as we walk, jack will hold leaves, sticks, or anything that catches his eye, and usually makes it home awake...well, not today.
-ash

oreo face

who knew an oreo could create this mess?
after lunch, jack and i decided it would be fun to have an oreo to satisfy our sweet tooth. i got myself a glass of milk and jack had a little left in his cup. i ate my "couple cookies" while jack, between the two cookie layers, scraped out the cream. then the dipping started. he had such a great time finger painting with oreo cookies, and i had a blast watching. adorable boy!
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his own space

while jack comes with me to work, i often find him in the weirdest places...today, i found him sitting in the tool shelf. and to think he got in there all on his own...makes me proud!
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the giggles

this makes me so happy. knowing jack laughs and has cousins to play with. he is such a happy boy, and i can't help but laugh along side him. thank you phoebe for making him laugh! my favorite at the end is when phoebe calls someone a "poopie face".

-ash

thirsty?

all for a drink of water from the sprinklers...
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playing

i am a firm believer that kids should play and get as messy as possible. they are kids after all. as i do yard work, jack is right there getting as messy as possible. he loves dirt, he loves water and he LOVES mud! i am so excited for when he starts playing with dinos/cars/army guys out in the mud having the time of his life, and i get to listen to his imagination at work. he seriously makes life so much fun, and reminds me of how the simple things make life meaningful! all he needs later is a bath...
-ash

jack's poop

one morning last week, i was getting jack ready for the day and started changing his diaper. i had to take a double take, but sure enough, one of these little gems were in his poop. we sell them at pebbles, and they make great additions to any project (well, not all). i started giggling and knew one day, one would get by. okay, i really wanted to take a photo of it, but i knew that would be on a whole new level of gross. that jack...
-ash

always a mess

jack has a sweet tooth just like his dad and i. if one cookie is good, 5 is better! he loves to eat, and eat and eat. since he started eating solids, he is a constant mess. his face always has crumbs on it and his shirt is always covered in slobbery goo. let's just say that he is a mess from the moment i put is clothes on in the morning, to when i put his pj's on at bedtime.
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jack naps like this...

a couple of weeks ago, lindsey and abby watched jack while i went to court with mom. when i came back to pick him up, he was just starting to fall asleep on the floor. it was simply adorable. his little hand was rubbing his cheek, and then it stopped. pretty soon, he started snoring a bit and we knew he was asleep. we all giggled at how quickly he went from playing to sleeping...

the next week, i ended up working a double at work, and lindsey came and got jack as his patience of being at pebbles was running out. i got a text from her with this picture and the message "must of have been a good read". i laughed out lout and quickly showed it to some friends who were there. when he is ready for bed, he is ready...that's for sure

-ash

out for a walk

when we first started getting warmer weather, paul took jack and i on a walk. we wanted to walk to the nearest redbox to get a movie for our saturday movie night. we started out pushing jack in the stroller, then he wanted to get out and help, then we carried him, then he went back into the stroller. when we got to harmons, paul realized he didn't bring his wallet with him. i didn't have mine either, so we started back home. jack loves to help push the stroller, cart, wagon, etc, and we love to let him help up. he is such a goof ball...
-ash

busy day

today after work, jack and i went on a walk... when we got to dad and mom's house, they were out in the yard cleaning up stuff from fall. dad was pruning bushes and mom was weeding. pretty soon, there were piles and piles of leaves and tree/bush trimmings. jack settled right down with mom and played in the dirt. pretty soon, kelsie and abby came out with strawberries and dinner, and had jack as happy as can be. i headed over to the first pile and started to load the yellow bucket. i asked dad where he wanted it and he said he wanted it in the garden. i thought to myself, "there is no way this is going to fit in the garden". i went and got the truck instead. when i got back, load by load we put the piles in the truck bed (good call :) ). while i helped in the yard, kelsie and abby really helped me by taking jack on a bike ride and letting him eat all the strawberries he could handle. they got back just in time to help put tools away. jack was more than happy to help dad carry the yellow bucket. we had dinner with them and then headed home for icecream. jack loves to have his own bowl and has to feed himself. he needs to be hosed off by the time he is finished. it is so fun to watch him become a mess. we had a great day today!
-ash

faces of jack

jack has such an expressive face. i could sit and watch him all day. i love watching him as he figures things out, discovers something he loves, or just sits in pure concentration. he is absolutely adorable and so fun to hang out with.
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jack is enjoying some french bread...a boy after my own heart :)

1 project down...1,000,000ish to go

there are so many projects that paul and i want to learn how to do, or to start. after he spends a lot of time making sure we have the right tools and ingredients, we finally start.
this project...

making our own vanilla

it was so fun. we started with vodka and madagasgar, tahitian and ugandan beans. each has their own unique flavor and i can't wait to start using them. actually, i don't want to use them because then, i won't have them any more (i know it is messed up). we shake them each day and in 6 weeks, they will be ready!
-ash

mr get into everything...

jack loves to get into everything, everything and everything! he starts with his toy basket, empties it and then moves onto the next thing and the next. so much like his dad. i love watching him reach for something just out of his reach. because he is so determined, he keeps at it. he loves to unpile or unstack just about everything. just look at that face and those darling short legs...

-ash

jack turns 1

i can't believe how fast time really does go. i know it sounds lame, but it really feels like yesterday we brought him home. it didn't feel real bringing him home, but now it seems he has always been here. i can't even describe the joy we feel. i still say a prayer of thanks for him, his wonderful personality and spirit he adds to our home. i feel so lucky and privileged to be his mom.
we had a little icecream party for him. we had a small gathering (dad & mom, lindsey, tyler & lucy, ransom, katie, conrad & phoebe (and baby in stomach), kelsie, abby and grandpa & grandma birrell). he got a few presents (yes noisy ones, but they really don't bother me) and he played while i got the icecream ready. we sat him in his chair and before i knew it, he grabbed his bowl to get to the candle (he is so strong!). we sang a quick "happy birthday", blew out the candle and he dove right in. icecream was everywhere...it was perfect.
-he says "hot" while he stands about 3 feet away from the wood burning stove
-he is walking everywhere. the best is when he holds his hand out for you, as you think he wants to come to you, but no...he wants to take you somewhere
-he loves to unload his toys out of the bucket and isn't satisfied until each of them are on the floor
-loves to bite and thinks it's a game when we tell him no
-his favorite place to sit is right by paul (adorable)
-could play in the sink for hours
-learning to drink and feed himself, which is very, very, very messy
-laughs like crazy
-sleeps through the night
-loves chocolate milk, carrots, potatoes, pasta, pizza, oreos, tomatoes, peaches, apples
-talks to me while we drive around
-has to touch everything like his dad
-is a good fit thrower (which we try to ignore, but find ourselves laughing at his actions)
-ash