jack raymond

words can't express the love paul and i have for this boy. he is perfect, absolutely perfect. i even think that at 3am when he stares into my eyes holding my finger.
his story...on monday (january 23rd) i had a stress test at the hospital to make sure everything was going smoothly. during the test, the nurse came in and said that his heart rate was dropping each time i had a contraction. she had already spoken to the head nurse and my doctor. they all agreed it was time to not be pregnant. she said i was not allowed to go home to get my things, but i was to go straight to the hospital. the staff was aware of the situation and i was going to be started right away. i couldn't believe it. i was so nervous, but after a teary prayer, immediate peace. i called paul on my way and told him to meet me there. he didn't believe me at first (neither did mom) and left work. i got to the hospital at 2:45, hooked up to the monitors, and warned that if his heart rate got worse and my body wouldn't progress, i would be having a c-section. i was open to anything to make sure he was safe. i was started with cervidel (to soften the cervix), and i was already dilated to a 2. i didn't know i was in labor. i didn't feel any contractions until i was at a 4. then things got a little uncomfortable. i got an epidural (magic). i was able to enjoy the people around me and i was relaxed. i could still feel the pressure of the contractions, but it took the edge off. i could still lift my legs on my own which was nice to not be so numb. the nurse came back in at 9:15pm and said that i was at a 5 and told the family to plan on him coming around 3am. so everyone but mom and nana left. about 45 minutes later, i was really feeling some pain, and his heart rate dropped down to 60. it was horrible to listen to his heart beat. i could listen to it drop, and then prayed it would come back up fast. nana and paul were watching the monitor. when it didn't come back up right away, nana ran and got the nurse. susie (the best nurse) came in and measured me. i was at a 10 and ready to go. we were all shocked. mom called everyone to come back and i would be going in the next 2 hours. my doctor was notified and wanted my body to push him down a little on it's own. would save me pushing time. i got a little more pain relief to take the edge off (my epidural couldn't keep up with how fast i progressed). my entire family was in the room with me. i couldn't think of a better way to welcome our son. we were talking and all the sudden my water broke. it wasn't like in the movies where the mom is standing and it trickles down the leg. this was an explosion. i sat straight up, everyone jumped and his heart rate instantly improved. he did great for the next half hour, and then his heart rate started dropping again. paul and i were thinking how much lower they were willing to let his rate drop, but i knew that he could be taken out so fast. my doctor showed up, i was prepped and family got into position. mom would take pictures, katie/lindsey took the video, dad, abby and tyler in the back corner to shield their eyes, and kelsie (going into nursing) watched the whole thing. i pushed 4-5 times and he was out. nothing could prepare me for the rush of emotions of seeing this life that i have been feeling inside for the first time. he has completed us, he has rocked our world and he is the most beautiful part of us. we are so in love.
we look at him and wonder what part of us is he. he has my nose and my flat bum. he has pauls eyes and i can't wait to see the light in them when he smiles like paul. actually, jack looks a lot like my mom's baby pictures. he has a lot of morris in him. i know my grandpa spent time with him before he came and that makes me happy. we are excited for this new life of ours...my heart swells with gratitude each time i look at him.
-ash