burning

i love being able to burn in the spring and fall. knowing that new life will come from cleaning up the overgrowth. it feels good getting things all in order, knowing before long, spring will be here.
jack of course has to be there to help. i love seeing the two of them working. i am so grateful jack has such a good dad...someone to teach and love him.
-ash

pumpkin land

we looked forward going to pumpkin land with jack this year. he's getting older, and getting his own little opinion. i know that if we didn't stop him, he would have filled the wagon with as many pumpkins as it would hold, and then jack would have one in each arm. the little stinker wouldn't smile for us though. i know he gets a bit of stubbornness from me. happy pumpkin picking!
-ash

all day long

all day long i hear,
"mom, where's dad?"
"he's at work"
"why?"
"he's making money to provide for us"
"why?"
"so we can have food and clothes, and do fun things"
"why?"
"because he loves us"
"why?"
"because he wants to take care of us"
"why?"
"do you want to be taken care of?"

 or

"mom, where's bompa (grandpa)?"
"he's at work"
"why?"
"he gets to help people at the hospital enjoy food"
"why?"
"do you like food?"


or

"mom, where's beepee (phoebe)?"
"she's at her house"
"why?"
"because that's where she lives"
"why?"
"ransom, katie, conrad and morris live there too"
"why?"
"do you want to see phoebe some time?"
"yup" (as he runs to the door thinking we are going there now...)

i love this phase of questions and watching his mind work. i just love watching his face as he figures things out. i love him.
-ash

little by little

i've decided that i need a little more in my life than just being content with how i live now. now, i'm not talking about the obvious blessings i have (family, religion, country etc). i mean, i find time passes, and i would like to make things, do cool things with my family, bake things, remember things, teach my kids things, but i don't. i don't even keep track of those things. i am so unbalanced...so unbalanced.
i've decided to take little steps, because i can see myself being overzelous. i have been on pinterest a few times, and i love to see the cool things that friends of mine "pin", and the greatest thing...is that i have actually done some of the things i have pinned, and i feel great. i feel better about me and about my life. i'm learning little by little that it's okay to do small things to make me happy, to make me feel more complete.
-ash

like mother, like son

one of my favorite memories growing up, was playing in the dirt with cars...well, actually, just playing in the dirt made my day. my sisters and i would spend hours creating the roads and driveways for our cars. i promised myself then, that my kids would be able to play in the dirt as much as they would want. we had a lot of great times in the planters, and i can't wait for my kids to play and make their own memories too. give jack a shovel and a car, and he is a happy boy!
-ash

splash pad

a couple of days ago i looked at the calendar, and had a mini meltdown. i looked at jack and felt horrible because i feel the summer has been work, work, work and not a lot of play for him. i have these moments where i feel like a mom who has no balance, and my poor children will suffer for it. paul had to calm me down, and remind me that i am a good mom, and that jack is a happy boy with a great life. i called katie and lindsey that afternoon to make a date for a splash pad. 

i had a great time watching jack play in the water. he is a happy boy who loves to laugh. the second he starts playing with kids his size, he opens up. i get giddy watching him as a "big boy". i can't describe the joy he brings me.

-ash

the great outdoors

as we were getting ready to go on our big camping trip for the year, some of us couldn't go until later, and so we decided to go someplace closer to home. we decided to go to the place paul and i found a few weeks earlier. surprisingly enough, the spot we wanted was completely full but the site that ended up being better for the entire group wasn't. we had such a great time, and it was so fulfulling to see the kids completely dirty. at one point, i think conrad was swimming in the dirt...later on, we heard ransom in his frustration dusting out his tent from that same dirt. classic! here is a little about the trip from mom's blog (she's got great photo's too).

Memories:

Had the camp all to ourselves. The diving june bugs into the lanterns on the first night with Phoebe screams. Conrad spending his time polishing up his skills non-stop running with his arrow, throwing it to kill the bear (bush) and jumping over a log, over and over again. Lindsey's creative camping ideas off Pinterest: blow up pool for crawling babies and the headlamp / jug of water that made a cool lantern. Ransom, Tyler and Larry mountain biking to the lake... pulling Ransom up the hills as he hung on to the Suburban. Favorite pastime? Knocking over dead aspen trees and listening to them crash. Homemade scones. Cooking omelets in a baggy. Ashlee dancing. Never ending stories around the campfire. Humming and playing name that tune. Jack clapping and saying 'Yah'. 30 Minutes of dirt roads. Phoebe being a dog with a stick in her mouth. Ashlee's burnt scalp. Phoebe hugging her dress non stop that she was finally wear a dress on the last day. Soda pop fridge in the river. Fishing at the lake. Watching Conrad catch a fish. Watching ants carry their eggs away. The boys tying up dead tree trunks and dragging them back to camp for our campfires. Constant sawing wood. Tin foil dinners. Cooking Lindsey's sugar cones filled with yummy good stuff over the fire. The thrill of catching fish! Playing camping games: throwing rocks at trees and heaving big rocks. Conrad pretending to be a bear and scaring his dad in the outhouse. The kids are happy throwing rocks in the river all day long... life is good!

-ash